a letter to my head

Via Rebecca Jane on Jun 14, 2015

Dear Head,

I need to speak with you.

After all these years you have taken up way too much space, telling me what and how I should live and feel. That I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…never enough.

How many opportunities have been lost because of what you have been telling me? I believed you, I trusted you, you were the fountain of all wisdom. You ranted on about how I should feel, be, become. And I listened.

Your words made me fearful, self-conscious, unloved, hurt, unworthy. It angers me to know I had let you dictate how I should live my life, who I could be friends with, what achievements I was capable of. Yet, again I trusted you. You were all I knew.

I had no idea that deep inside me there was another voice, a kinder, more loving voice, that speaks to me in whispers, so quietly I could barely hear it above the cacophonous words you kept lobbing at me.

I am ready to take ownership of you! You are not in charge anymore! I am in charge! I choose!

You are here to help me, to assist, not to dictate. That quiet voice deep in my soul will be given a space to speak and to be heard.

Head, I love you, but you are not to take control anymore. We are a team, you come out when I need you to make some decisions or help me solve a problem. But you are not to define me or place me in box where I am stifled and scared. We both want to be happy, let’s embrace one another and let the other parts of us in.

Thanks for your hard work, but it is now time to take a step back and sit in the peripheral.

I will let you know when I need you.

Remember, I am the one in charge.